IF I CAN LOSE WEIGHT THERE, I CAN...

Greetings and salutations race fans,

Well, as stated in the last post on the old blog, I spent some time this past week in NYC. Since I was just here a little while ago, I won't go too overboard. Or at least not as much as I did on the last go around on So Cal with the cool Mini Cooper Driving Steve B and Pasadena.

I will tell you this, though: if you are going to go to Carnegie Deli at 854 Seventh Avenue (corner of 55th) (http://www.carnegiedeli.com/index.html) take two things, no, three things, with you: A big empty tummy, a wad of cash, and a better camera. Something happened and I got a blurry shot. All you see are some of the cheap (3 for ten bucks) ties and the girl with the boyfriend in the pink t-shirt. The deli awning is in the background -blurry.

I ate at two delis on this trip. One was the Carnegie where I had a pastrami on rye, potato salad and Dr. Brown's Cel Rey Soda. The last item was the recommendation of one of the two reps in the NYC area and, as always, he was right on the money. It was a great combo. (http://store.drsoda.com/drbrcelreyso.html ) The price, with tip, was a little north of 25 quid. It's hard to complain about that considering that I, yes I, could not finish the sandwich. I had two older English ladies next to me giggling at my attempts to open my pastrami hole wide enough to cram the sandwich into the abyss. (They seat you school cafeteria style.) I had a nice Spanish couple sitting next to me on the other side. I, of course, was the monkey in the middle. I left the old tip on the table and went up front to pay the cashier. At the till was an angry individual from yet another country saying over and over, "You don't take credit? No credit? The credit card, you no take?" His wife and kids looked frightened -so much so that the kids hung on to their mother like she was some form of life raft in this sea of strangers and strange smells. Finally the old man left them there while he went to search for an ATM. The cashier looked like he was about to fall asleep -evidently this happens a lot at the old Carnegie. I got up to the till, slid my cash across the counter with a little bit of oomph as if to say with contempt to the cashier, "Flippin' tourists!" I then collected my change, turned around and gave the wife and chitlens the old Everything is going to be Alright one-tourist-to-another-smile. The food, my friends, was worth the greenbacks. Unbelievably good. The other deli, which I will not name, sucked. Expensive sandwiches, piled high like the Carnegie, but bad, bad service and bad food in comparison. Go to the Carnegie if you are into this kind of fare.

Believe it or not, I actually lost weight on this trip -even with the potato salad and the pastrami. This was due to two things: One, I walked and walked and walked during the evenings. When I was tired, I used my Metro card and jumped on a bus or subway. But for the most part I walked because walking is where the action was at. The people and the humidity and the colors are all more palpable on the street. I went looking for Tiggy and his cool little paintings and prints in front of the Metro Museum of Art one evening, but no dice -no Tiggy. This adventure involved walking up from Times Square and then along Central Park South. Between you and me, the handsome cabs aren't so handsome when they are six feet away and smell like wild yedi mixed with more than a powerful hint of horse crap. I cut through the park at one point and came upon some kind of fund raising event for the Central Park Zoo. Very festive and cool. I recommend this walk if you are stuffed up from a cold or if you forget your Breathe Right strips. Anywho, I digress. These walks helped to shed a few pounds. The walking and heat during the day clinched the deal, though.

I am going to start the New York Diet (NYD for short) and charge people 500 clams a piece for a one month self-guided weight loss tour through the streets of NYC. I am not going to give too many specifics here for obvious reasons, but suffice to say that it involves business attire, the NYC summer, and back to back appointments all over Manhattan. This is a great cardio program that combines subway steps, turnstiles, oppressive heat, bags filled with heavy samples, small and creaky elevators without fans, and a perpetual behind schedule pressure. Food will be sparse and liquids will be doled out at two hour intervals. (Not too specific, am I?) For all of you, I will cut the enrollment fees in half. Just email me at closestexit@gmail.com and I will send you the particulars. Like the Carnegie Deli, though -cash only.

One other quick note; if you are going to see Wicked, you could do a lot worse than the Hampton Inn at 851 8th Avenue for accommodations. You will literally be within walking distance of the Gershwin Theater.

Well, kids, until next time, enjoy a Cel Rey soda and keep your powder dry.

-Gulliver (Which, by the way, has nothing to do with a bird's inner workings)

Disclaimer: Weight loss results may vary. Closest Exit and it's owner neither claim nor warranty similar results. The diet only works in the summer times with temperature ranges of 75 degrees F and above. The $250 to $500 sign up fee is not refundable and can not be claimed on your taxes. Prices vary upon the blogger knowing you or not, and then liking you or not. Write closestexit@gmail.com for NYD payment instructions. Please allow sixty to ninety days for delivery. Please drink Dr Brown's Cel Rey soda in reasonable amounts -no one wants to hear you belch on the corners of 7th and 56th, at a stop light, in a crowed of people, like some people may or may not have done on a recent visit to NYC.